The Difference Between Purple and Pink

I am here in Des Moines, IA, having completed my happy little orientation phase and now I am approaching the actual driving and hooking up and handling paperwork phase. I have completed my driving test which was unusual in that it took place on the very first day. The second day was videos with some hands on as we pumped from one trailer to another using both air and the hydropak. Funny how I could have been in the driving industry for so long and not really pay any attention to how tankers work. Looks good so far. The funny thing about this company is that there really is not a "story" or spin. It is what it is. I have spoken to at least 20 of these drivers and I am here to tell you that I can't get one of these guys to say a darn thing bad about the company. Oh, wait, there was one guy that said that sometimes the freight was "inconsistent". Welcome to trucking sunshine...

The bittersweet component added to the fact that in my opinion, I have managed to stumble into the best company to work for to date, is that Des Moines is in the middle of fighting an oncoming disaster. Yesterday, I was meeting and getting information from the department heads, ordering my uniforms and getting a general understanding of how the operations side of the company works. Just about any television was showing the down town flooding and showed the coming band of miserable thunderstorms and the red boxes representing tornado watches and warnings. Yesterday in western Iowa, a tornado hit a Boy Scout camp north of Council Bluffs and 4 scouts between the ages of 13 and 18 were killed. That kind of tragedy rests heavy on me as I was a boy scout at one time and I remember fondly the campouts and all the activities. It was real life in the fact that I was involved and with my friends and yet for me, it was fantasy in that the real world was insulated from the recreation, the tent building and the pranks and hazing that is frequent among groups of men in the wilderness. I am thankful in that no one was killed on any of my campouts. My prayers are with the families of the victims.

I think that the experience with this company will be a positive one and that perhaps it will change the scope of this page. Hey, a guy can't rant and rave about all the annoying stuff in life every day. That would get old. Perhaps I can attack an occasional lot lizard to stay in shape. Who knows? Dedication

Here In The Back Yard, Cutting Farts and Grillin' Meat

Friday, June 6, 2008

Swimmin in the Rain Here at the Homestead

Uh, let's see. I put in notice here at Jim Palmer around the 24Th of May. And they got me outta DA truck very shortly after that. Just recapping. Well, I managed to look at a few opportunities including going back to work at mighty, mighty, Bobcat. I have decided to head off to work for the tanker outfit that I was talking to before.The big thing is the home time and the pay. Not at all bad there I tell you. Anyway, I start here on the 9Th of June as that was the earliest that they could get me in. That's right, I got me a two week vacation out of that deal and I have been working my frigging ass off here at home catching up with the honey doos and making up for one full year of abused home time. The last section of my roof will get completed today if the rain lets up. It is flashed, papered, drip edged, starter stripped and waiting for shingles. 16 by 12 feet. Once it gets started, it will be just like Whitney Houston and a small rock...it will be done in less than an hour. Of course, a small Whitney rock would make the Hope Diamond look like a spider mite. That is another story however.I managed to buy a rather inexpensive RV and have managed to park it in the yard for later camping since the rain is being rather relentless. I chopped down a 57 year old ash tree that was unfortunate in that it had to sit in my yard at a 45 degree angle. I placed a restraining order against the lady down the street who is married to a convicted sex offender. Some people need to learn some manners. In fact, I placed the protection order in the same week that I am running for a third term as a city council member. Maybe this time they will just vote me the hell out and I can get on with my regular life. I do have some kind of excitement around here and being that it is a very small town, that is a bonus, I guess.I was talking to a good friend yesterday and since I have not been in the truck (I practically have forgotten how to shift)He let me know about the price of diesel lately. $4.90 per gallon. If the price of fuel goes up much more, I can see a reversion to day cabs and motel stays for truckers. I can also see the return of multiple plant locations, instead of relying on cheap transportation to distribute their products... it will be a limited benefit with the additional jobs and potential improvement in the truck driving vocation..., but, the price of oil could also make China imports prohibitive. Buy American, now more than ever. dedication:_)

Let The Games Begin and End

I did my first drop here in Montana this morning early from my 1300 appointment. After all there was a second drop in Washington and First, because I am always one friggin' motivated truck driver. And, that I knew that there were problems with the loading of this load and any delay by me would not help the problem at all so I gave them the best kick start that I could by being as early as possible. Also, I am running deadly close to the terminal. I put in notice Monday and I told Curtis that early or late was fine to get out of the truck as I was not on any tight schedule. I am going to fish, fuck (sorry, teatotaling dicklickers)and drink before I consider going back to work...It might happen all at once in the same hour but no doubt that will be another story. Hmmmmm, well, you have caught a fish...OK, I'll be right over honey...two good and vigorous minutes later...and that is the rest of the story. Whatever.

I think it is hilarious how these trucking outfits work. Hey, there have been many times where a driver gives his parting shot to the company on the way out. I get it. But I have done nothing or said nothing that would lead one to believe that I have any severe anger towards this company. I have my own reasons for leaving, which I am not going to discuss here. I also have my complaints about some of the things that this company does and has done. I feel that my situation would have been helped some if I had not worked with Bret. I feel that while he has done a stellar job lately, he has had quite a bit of growing up to do for most of my year here. Nuff said. While I may get fiery over the current shit, I could care less once it is over.

Don't get me wrong, I do learn the lessons of the past and that is part of why this decision to leave is an easy one. I have many contacts in this company and will continue to write about them as the subject comes up. I have also been contacted by friends that wanted me to write about their situation when there were circumstances that cast doubt. Integrity will not allow me to print pap here however and I have to have the things that I write confirmed. After all, this is a classy rag don't ya know.

I had a nice talk with Lonnie Wallace and he was nice enough to get me a room. I had been tipped off that I was being truck outed and I exnayed with my sheets and blankets and did not want to sleep with newspapers on the smoking benches. Might be good practice for when I go to Tex's house...he is about to be homeless unless he gets off his ass. I would like to thank the people that read this and give me nice complements on my email. It is nice to hear that what I did was good for you and of course...tell a friend that a weird guy is typing some real annoying shit and you just had to have a witness to the lack of humanity. What is he going to lampoon next? Mike's Hard Light Lemonade? Who the hell knows. I gotta go. No, I have gotta go and I am going to go and like it.

It is my anniversary and I have to say, the first anniversary that I really hit the gift on the friggin head. My wifey has been hinting for a few years now about wanting a ring commemorating the birth of her son Wes. Well, I naturally looked around when she mentioned it...but, those rings look like fucking shit. Sorry, but they do. I just happened to be in a JC Penney in Columbus, NE getting a watch for my Son for graduation and there it was...the ring of all ages and I friggin bought it. And she friggin liked it. And I will get a friggin *redacted* for it and I will shout out the open windows for all the inbred freaks and sex offender loser neighbors that live in my town to hear that I got a *redacted* for 40 percent off at JC Penney. And you fucking know that! I live in Elliott, North Dakota and there is a sex offender here but his licence is in another state. His name is Martin Wayne Vareberg and he lives three houses south of 205 Elliott St in Elliott, ND. I fucking hate rapists. Dedication;)

Iowa the Sequel

Once again I am sitting on my arse in the Flying Jackass here at exit 125 on I-80. I delivered bright and early to those crack smoking scumbags at Sysco. I hate Sysco and I hate anyone that works there...I want to kick their puppies in the gut and abuse their home appliances with dung. I mean it, I hate that place and it doesn't matter the location. Denver Sysco? Assholes. Olathe, Kansas?, assholes. It does not matter one bit as they collectively suck goat nads. They really suck. Anyway, I had to go up to Ankeny, IA for the second part of operation dough drop. My appointment is for the 15th at 11am but I was able to talk to the guy and finaggle a 2000, we will fit you in sort of thing. Not perfect, but what the hell is in life.

I go in and grab a shower and I notice this freakish looking girl/pig staring at me. She had been acting strange since I had arrived there. She approaches and asks if I have a spare shower for her which I oblige her. She says that she is looking for a ride which I cannot oblige. I bought her a couple egg rolls and bid her good luck. I get uncomfortable with the homeless as you never know what kind of unruly behaviour to expect. I am not a taxi service however. Don't get me wrong, I do not have anything against the homeless or unfortunate losers in the travel game. It just seems that there is a growing number of people that act as if it is my problem that they are where they have ended up somehow. I do know what it is like to lose my job and end up in very bad shape. I never thought once to head out and travel using someones source of a job as my travel mode. I would feel too self conscious about that to actually pull it off.

Now is the interesting tidbit of the day. After long hours of research, grilling recruiters and filling out applications and talking to drivers, I have a replacement company that I have recently been accepted by. They have a terminal not far from my house. They will pay far better than my current employer will even discuss paying. They have a good home rotation of 7 days or so. They represent one factor that I have desired in trucking in that it would be just frigging nice not to have to deal with a reefer or a van trailer for that matter. The best part is that when I am not driving and am waiting to load/unload, I am on the clock after 2 hours. That is worth more than all the other benefits. That tells me that they value the time on the truck and are willing to do something about it.

I would like to say that this chapter coming up is in some way bittersweet and that I wish that I did not have to go, but, I can't. I would be lying. That is not to say that everything at Jim Palmer Trucking was bad as it was not all bad. Here is a list of the good and the bad as I see it.

Good-They do not anally rape you as part of the orientation process.
Bad-For a decent pay raise, you might just accept anal rape as a negotiation tool.

Good-Their trucks look good when they are broke down on the side of the road.
Bad-Somehow, their trucks look good when they are wrecked as well.

Good-They have rather attractive recruiters of the female persuasion.
Bad-Lying ass bitches to hell with all of them.

Good-The management team is competent and forthright.
Bad-Competent about screwing up drivers lives and forthright about lying about it.

Good-The place has not caught fire yet.
Bad-The place has not caught fire yet.

Good-The payroll lady is very accurate and I have never once had to call about a shortage.
Bad-How the fuck can you screw up 191.00 a week? 5 of my paychecks were that or less in Dec, Jan, Feb...

I know, I am spoofing their sorry asses and I guess that I am sorry. Really there are quite a few nice, competent people working at Jim Palmer Trucking. It is unfortunate that none of them are at the top of the power ladder. Kudos to Dave Zohner, Dick Horst, Judy the logbook lady as you tolerated my shenanigans with poise, Lisa, as the pay was always there and accurate and you are quite the nice person, Heather, as she made some sense of my notes on job history and compiled it so it could be read by those not on depression medication... and a few I cannot remember to name as I have a bad memory caused by traumatic stress disorder from banging my freaking head on the steering wheel. Those people have made my life and the job easier in their own way. Bret, made my life here a living hell for 11 out of 12 months...too little too late and I do not want to see it go back to where it was all last year. Aubrey, I saw your snotty little look at me when you did not think I was looking and you can go to hell. You are better than no one you stuck up bitch. I think that all but sums it up.

I have been asked whether I will continue to write about Jim Palmer Trucking. I would have to say that I have plenty of contacts there and with as bad at they are currently being run that I would be dumb to switch now. Those guys have the capability of running a good company but they are just too damn full of shit to do it. Thus, I must continue to write. Dedication >:\/

You All Are A Bunch Of Hicks, Put Down The Chainsaw

I am here luxuriating is the hickness that is Kentucky. I just like to dog out KY which is where the lubricant got its name as that is where my good friend JD lives and occasionally, he reads this. I really shouldn't be rattling cages and such but it is good fun until someone decides to rattle back. I can take it though as there really is not much rattling to do when your cage is lined in foam.

Got a return on an email to a very old friend...yes he is old like me and the friendship has been on ice due to different locations since the mid 1980's. It exhausts me to think about the relationships and struggles of the last 28 years. It is a wonder that children don't scream when they see the mileage on my face. The Saint was influential on me in some ways that average friendships are not. I don't remember ever going to a bar with Saint. We did not hang out in any way shape or form outside of ship life. He was always writing music and playing guitar and it intrigued me. He returned an email and It just made my day. Sometimes, that is all it takes. Now I can call my wife and exclaim, "he said yes!". Different story and shame on you. Greetings Saint and Velkommen to my sick little world. It however, is no more sick than on the USS Pyro. Remember when some prankster painted Psycho over the letters PYRO. Cool stuff...Dedication:/

Limbo, It Just Never Ends

I am on my way to the great East Coast and it is a rather slow load...I call my good friend John Dean to let him know that there is a rendezvous location where we can sneak a beer in or to with some colorful conversation about cool subjects and fun times. I am pretty sure that breasts will come up at one point or another. Not really, I just added that because I thought it would throw some undetectable spin on this otherwise boring paragraph. Anyway, he is not answering for some unknown reason...it must involve breasts, I just know it.

The company is conducting some culling operations in the personnel department. There is a need to reduce the force somewhat and what better way than to fire a few assholes. Unfortunately, there managed to end up in the sieve, my good friend Tonio. What I know about Tony and his year here at the farm is not complete and it would not be fair to all parties to comment in depth about this. However, from my point of view, Tony will be missed by me in a black truck and we will keep in touch as friends do. Good luck as always, I will be pulling for you. And if I sent you one of those posters that show retards licking the windows on only the very shortest buses...I am sorry. You are friggin' special sunshine and don't let any Montana kiss ass inbreds tell you different. I just have to say, I am sorry lord and I know not where this stuff comes from. After it expels however, there is no wiping, it just flies out of me clean as a friggin' whistle.

The company is scaring the heck out of me lately. I was at Salina and 2 Palmers were fueling on TCH and were dismayed when their pumps shut off at 119 gallons and would go no further. No answer to that one. I am glad I fueled last night. There are problems with the EZPass, we have had "glitches" with the payroll. Now, I am not saying that I know of a specific problem with Jim Palmer...that is not my purpose here. I respect the fact that my checks have been accurate and Johnny on the spot. A lesser company would be feeling the turbulence much more however. I heard that TMC is feeling the heavy rolls lately. Good for those undercutting assholes, too.

Well, gotta go for now as I am getting groggy. Dedication:/

Some Days It Just Does Not Pay To Get Up

Actually, it was not really a bad day overall if you look long and hard at all of the hours of the day and come up with some sort of average. It was just the last 3 of the working day that were grating on my nerves. I had picked up in Minnesota and was on my way out of the state on I-35 when the clouds got a weird look to them and there was more intensity in the rain and the wind. I was heavy, so the wind really was not a factor, but, at the same time, I was aware that the weather was changing. Well, up ahead, not quite a mile, was this dark circular movement of clouds and debris. I watched this mass enter the south bound lanes and commented to my wife that perhaps it was a mile ahead. It was really a quarter mile and it hit and laid over a semi, blocking all southbound lanes. I sat there waiting for wreckers and found out that the driver was naturally shaken up but nonetheless, OK.

The wrecker rights the truck and lanes are opened...thirty miles south, the same thing happens with another delay. I decided to pull in and just call it a day. The added bonus is that I have some access. Cool beans.

Well, gotta go for now...Dedication:)