Bambi Killa

I was driving along yesterday morning near Butte, MT and along came a stupid deer and ruined my progress. Had to go to the terminal and assess the damage and plot a course. After all was determined and viewed, it was decided that it would be best to get into another truck as the repair on this one would certainly take a few days. Considering that they were not offering a first class ticket back to North Dakota for an all expenses paid vacation where I can chase my wife around and drink brewskis and run the hell out of my barbecue...I decided that a different truck would be the way to go...

Turns out that the deer was a blessing in disguise. I will be getting a truck with sort of a better sleeper and larger bed and all in all, it will represent a modest improvement over the old truck. Also there are no dents on this truck. Seems that the driver of this truck was able to keep his consumption of alcohol and vicadin down to reasonable levels and as an added bonus, he was reasonably clean in the way he chose to take care of the truck.

I just have to think that things happen in threes. First, my wife hits a deer, now me. I suppose I will have a long distant cousin in Nebraska plow into a deer and it will all be over with. Usually it is in threes in the same area however. One year we had three Don Johnsons pass away...well, two of them were Don Johnson and the third, strange enough was the Dentist Dawn Johnson. All died in the same month last year.

Looks like at least tentatively, I will be heading for California for more debauchery and crime. Suits me, I live in a small town and there is just nothing to talk about.

Here are the things I have been thinking about while driving down the road:

I hate the Bill Mack Show. I know, you probably just freaking love the show and you are insulted beyond belief and are wondering how I could possibly be a bigger asshole. Which, I could be without trying, but, here is why I think his show sucks.

First, I don't care how important you think you are, Bill Mack. But when you act all self important and spend all this time dropping names about the legends that you know. Well it just gets old.

Cindy sounds like a constipated hippo when she laughs. I just wish she would open her damn mouth when she laughs like a human being. NNNNNN NNNNN NNNNN is not a frigging laugh...HA HA HA is. Open your mouth walrus face.

I don't know where they dug Truman up from put they need to shove him back there and close the drawer. His voice is just plain annoying and more music and less of what he calls music is good for the listener.

Shamrock, Texas...what an armpit.

Leann Rimes and Blue should be jettisoned off the flight deck of a soon to be scuttled aircraft carrier along with her family and pets. Bill Mack just loves to talk about how he wrote the song and gave her a big start, ETC. She had barely released the song and Bill couldn't keep his fat leathery face out of the spotlight. What a moron...

The people that call the show really need to have something to talk about. I mean, it is just a darn shame that Mr. Condescending Bill Mack has nothing to say. But, who the hell can blame him with such crappy material. If I hear one more, "thank you for what you do Bill and Cindy" I will start checking my golf swing on puppies at elementary schools infront of kindergartners. Bill Mack, you suck, suck I tell you.

Dedication (;^I>